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Ever feel like Belle?

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Ever feel like Belle?

Post by kazoo on Fri Jul 14, 2017 10:02 pm



Right now I'm really relating to how Belle was feeling.  I feel kind of stuck in a rut, bored, and just kind of weighed down by monotony. I have worked at the same places, lived in the same place, been around the same people for years.

I know I can find a new job, move to a new place or something like that to shake things up but I guess before too long the newness would wear off and the same feeling would set in. And I'm not sure I want to give up the comfort of familiarity completely because I like that too. Is there a realistic way to add "adventure" to our lives? Can we still have adventure while we also maintain the normal responsibilities of life?
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by Luney on Sat Jul 15, 2017 1:42 am

Aww, sorry to hear you are feeling like this kazoo Sad I get these feelings sometimes, although less after having kids. I call them the "Stagnation stages".
That was one of the reasons why I liked planning 1-2 vacations a year to somewhere far away. It makes everything so much easier when you have something positive and exciting to look forward to.

I've thought sometimes that maybe we should do like Jim Carrey in Yes Man. You know when he had to say yes to everything and in the end it all made sense together. It's like completely trusting that the universe will bring you everything you need Shruggy smiley

Or maybe you can get a friend and decide to do 1 new thing every week that you haven't experienced yet?
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by Night Eyes on Sat Jul 15, 2017 12:48 pm

Yep I feel like this a lot, I know my life is moving and I am doing some wonderful exciting things but sometimes it feels like i'm stood still and missing out on all the fun things, I dont really have any wise words on this unfortunately, i do sometimes feel I work hard and do what I can but I dont reap many rewards for it.
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by kazoo on Sat Jul 15, 2017 2:02 pm

Thanks guys, at least I know I'm not alone.

For the last 2 years or so I've been working seven days a week between my 2 jobs. I also have a long(ish) commute to deal with which adds stress and makes the days even longer.

I've taken a few little breaks here and there but it clearly hasn't been enough and I think I'm just burnt out. I am grateful for the money I've been earning by working so much but I just don't think I can sustain this but at the same time I like my jobs and really don't want to leave them. So I do feel kind of stuck.

I do think a lot of my feelings of frustration are a result of not really feeling like I can control my schedule because when you work for someone else you pretty much have to be there when they say. I think ideally I'd love to be able to work more on my own terms so that I could fit more fun and adventure into my life but I've just never had any ideas about a work situation that would pay me enough to live and allow that. Neutral
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by Night Eyes on Sun Jul 16, 2017 10:32 am

Sound like a bit of self care is in order Kazoo x
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by Evie on Thu Jul 20, 2017 5:22 pm

I know exactly what you mean, kazoo. At the moment I am living a life of adventure - but I spent a long time feeling just like Belle. I was trapped in front of my computer thinking and overthinking my work, which though I do love, is not the only thing I want in my life. There was no outdoors, no concerts, no coffees with friends, and I just felt so limited and stuck and depressed. My job ("job") is my dream job, but there is so much more to life -- mountains! picnics! sunshine! long rambling walks! hiking! swimming! .....  anyway, once I got over the most stressful deadline of my life last year (these days I'm a Doctor Wink ), I decided to find more balance. It's tricky to do, but now I force myself to have some free time sometimes, and to have it away from the computer. I feel so much healthier physically and mentally....

I know a couple of people who became so dissatisfied with their lives as they were that they quit their jobs and moved on to other things. One was a lawyer; but she really loves travelling, writing, inspiring people, and things like that, so she decided to call it a day and became an entrepreneur instead - her own boss, able to come and go as she pleased, still making enough money (though not as much as she had been making at her position in a prestigious law firm), and most of all with time to devote to her passions. What you say about feeling frustrated about not being able to control your schedule - she said that was a major factor for her, because she wanted to take holidays when she couldn't and just felt so constricted by her job and those "top men" above her.

The second person quit his job, joined the military, and now spends most of his time climbing mountains. Recently he climbed Mount Everest. He quotes Oscar Wilde - "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

I am sure that if you commit to living the life you want, you will find a way. Quitting one's job is an extreme thing - I am sure there are other paths that would allow you to live your dreams. Maybe long service leave? Something like that? Or maybe you could just keep one of the jobs and do something else - like a "start-up", I don't know, I'm not savvy at all about these things - though there is obviously an element of risk involved. Apparently there are also people called "digital nomads", who have jobs that allow them to work anywhere so long as they have a computer. Something that has been on my mind for a long time (not a digital nomad job as you are positioned in a specific place) is the idea of teaching TESOL in a European country. However, my family would be disappointed in me because it wouldn't be living up to the expectations I've created through my long and intense education. That said, it's the sort of thing I would do only for a while, something that would allow me to live a bit on my own terms rather than being immediately tightly bound to a higher education institution...

Anyhow, I digress. I know exactly how you feel. I was there for a long time - longing for more adventure and "normal" fun, as opposed to the research highs of ohmygodI'vefoundsomethingimportanttoscholarship!!! ... Very Happy . At the moment, I have sort of the opposite problem - I have a casual position at my university, been given lecturing for subjects I love here and there, but it isn't stable, and the way it is now, it isn't sustainable. On the other hand, I really really appreciate the freedom to organise my life exactly how I like (and how I need to - family problems).

I know you will find a way to solve this, kazoo! I love you I wish I knew more about business and careers in general so that I had better, more specific advice.

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: Ever feel like Belle?

Post by kazoo on Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:15 pm

Thanks Evie. I know a solution will present itself somehow. I actually just came across an internship that I want to apply for. It's an opportunity that I had no idea even existed and it can help take me in the direction I definitely want to go, so I'm pretty excited about it!

I am hoping that by the end of the year I can cut back on my work hours, it should make a huge difference! Like I said, I don't want to leave my jobs completely, just cut back a bit so I can rest more and have more time for fun!
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