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Question time.

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Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Sun Apr 23, 2017 12:55 pm

Hey everyone, I was just thinking it might be nice to have a little thread where we can just ask random questions about anything that might be running through our heads. I think sometimes it's nice to have other peoples opinions and ideas on things, it can be nice to know that we might think the same things or have the same worries etc, but it's also nice to get other perspectives as we might not have thought that way otherwise.

So feel free to post at any time any random question that pops in your head or you might be worrying about, and anyone is welcome to answer Smile


To start things off, lately I've been thinking a lot about getting older and how I feel about it, so my question is ... How do you feel about getting older?
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Re: Question time.

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Sun Apr 23, 2017 6:30 pm

That's a nice idea nighty!

Well personally I don't have a problem getting older because I don't have the feeling I'm actually getting older. I still have a lot of energy and I believe I can stay as fit as I am for a very long time. I know that sounds a bit weird maybe but I focus mainly on youth and getting fit. I still believe I can reach certain goals in sports despite my age. I also believe I can still look young for quite some time. I still have a lot of energy. So that's as far as the physical part of getting older concerned. Mentally I do have the feeling I have aged in a good way. I worry less, I take my zen moments and I don't care as much about what people think as I used to. Mentally I do feel it's not appropriate to go raving 3 days a week at the club anymore. I have been there and done that. Even though I still go clubbing every now and then I have other interests now that give me joy too Smile
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:31 am

Yes I definitely don't feel my age, not sure what age I feel but I dont feel old, and I think i'm lucky that I look a bit younger than I am aswell although lately I am aware that I probably can't pass for late twenties anymore hehe.

I don't think i'm in too bad shape for my age, I do hear a lot of people moaning about aches and pains etc and I'm grateful that I seem to be doing ok, but I do worry about things like that, and I feel now more of a push to start looking after myself where before it didn't feel so important.

One thing i've noticed is I can't stay up as late as I used to, but then I have been working on my body clock and sleeping patterns, so it might just be that i've adjusted my body to going to bed early.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:40 pm

Yes, good idea Nighty Very Happy

I always thought I'd be fine with growing old, when I was 18, I had tons of friends who were 40-50 or more and I always sort of felt age is just a number and there's nothing to be scared of.
Now, after meeting my 72 year old neighbor, who ALWAYS without failing talks about looming death and how he could die any moment, it sort of made me look at old people differently on the street. I noticed when my father-in-law turned 60 he sort of "broke" or panicked. He didn't say anything, but his being somehow changed. It's like when you hit 60 it suddenly dawns on you that you are just waiting for death now. That your health is not the same, the life is pretty much over (although of course one could live to be 100+), but really, you will somehow know that you won't have long left.

So for me, what makes me feel bad about getting older, is seeing my loved ones getting older. Getting old and grey, fearing they might leave soon, basically just seeing lively happy people still being lively and happy, but fading away.

For me PERSONALLY, I haven't thought much about looks, because I don't feel I look any worse than when I was younger, I look different of course, but I don't think I look old and gosh, guys, we are not over 50 here to even think about looking old laugh
For me it's more a mental mini-midlife crisis, when I suddenly realize that I should be an adult by now Laughing and I still feel like I'm a child and there should be some adultier adult around here somewhere Very Happy
And second, I should have my life course sorted out by now, career wise, should be building a pension fund or at least planning some investment strategy for it (and I'm not, duh). I'm glad at least I traveled and got kids, otherwise I might really feel the pressure of the clock Neutral
But basically the older I get the more I have this nagging "What are you doing with your life?" in the back of my mind.

I watched this video some time ago (did I tell you about it already or did I just think about telling you? scratch ) where it said "Imagine you will have a car crash, or a heart attack, some accident that basically you are now dead. You are out of your body, that is it. The time has come, right now. ... Now, when you look at your life as it is and was, what would you change? What would you do that you haven't done yet? How would you change yourself? What would you say to people that would be left unsaid? Then the practical side, what would happen to your children, your property, your money if you died? Who would legally get the custody or inherit them? Because logically thinking it may be your parent, but legally it may be the the deadbeat dad that left you or the evil ex."
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Re: Question time.

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:39 am

Well you know there are many older people that still have a young mind and rock the older days. I always like to get inspired by those people. 60 something doesn't mean you are standing with one leg in your coffin. When I was backpacking in Indonesia, I met an elderly 60 plus couple who were backpacking too. They were still young at heart and that's something I intent to do too. I have a plan to visit at all the continents in my life, everything I can't do now, I'll do when I'm retired Smile I also like to be inspired by videos of older people who are still very much into sports, rock at yoga or a while back I saw a video of an almost 70 year old woman who rocked pole dancing. Seriously, her physique looked better than mine, not to mention her strength! I don't accept getting older as a fact. I think if you give into that the process goes way faster. Think about the power of I am. What are the thoughts that roaming through these people's minds, I am old or I am still young? I think that makes a huge difference. As you think you become Wink
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Tue Apr 25, 2017 8:32 am

Ah Luney I notice my dad gets more anxious now when there's something wrong with his health, now he's in his 60's I can see he's making a conscious effort to eat better and stay more active these days, however, I was reading an article months ago that most older people when interviewed don't actually fear death, not in the way we do, they come to view it as the next adventure apparently.

I think I may be somewhat the opposite to you in a way, I've done those techniques of looking at what would happen if I died, and whilst it concerns me that there's not much set up, the older I get the less I'm worrying, my kids are older so I feel ok that they would be ok, and when I think of the experiences I wish I would have first, if i'm honest as time goes on it doesn't seem quite as important, I dont know if that's just the headspace i'm in or what, but ever since my last ocd/anxiety blip my main concern is being with family and friends, of course I would love to travel and see different sights, have a beautiful home and what not, but to me I feel as long as I've made happy memories with family and friends i'm content.

I think you have a good point LMS, a lot of it is about our mentality, I see some people in their 60's and I would never guess they're that old, infact one guy I know when I learned he was retired and had kids my age I was quite shocked!

My Aunt is 70 and she doesn't look anywhere near that age and she's always travelling, and still working.

For me it's about looking after yourself and creating a good mindset, I have the keeping active bit sorted, and i'm not too bad with the diet, there could be room for improvement, now to work on the mind, I feel young but i'm full of worry lol.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Tue Apr 25, 2017 4:09 pm

Just to clarify I didn't mean that people once they hit 60 will just sit down and wait for death Laughing
My father-in-law owns his own business and takes no days off, he's always on the go. And my 72 year old neighbor that always talks to me about dying soon is actually probably THE MOST active oldie I know. Just to give you the picture, he drives  his  Harley Davidson to the beach (with no helmet) every day. He just bought this house half a year ago and he has already completely transformed it, ripped out all the electrical wires and completely wired the house, ripped out all the walls, ceilings and floors and installed everything brand new, painted everything all by himself and is now selling the house for a lot more money. Currently he has been gone for weeks travelling in Colorado looking for a new farm to buy. He also told me he is not afraid of death, believes in life after death is ready to die.
I was thinking more that once people hit 60 they become more aware of their own death and think about it more.

My grandmother was hoping to die for 2 reasons - 1) for fear her health would give up and she'd become confined in bed completely dependent on others, also the possibility of losing her mind and not recognizing the family
and 2) If she were to become confined in bed, nobody could look after her and she would end up in old folks home. When oldies have lived their whole life in one home, they really dread being taken somewhere else to slowly die.

I'm absolutely sure LMS will be kicking butt as an old lady



and me and Nighty will be having tea on our Cornwall cottage porch while observing everything and gossiping Twisted Evil
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Fri Apr 28, 2017 7:12 am

Awww definitely Luney, I can't wait to live by the seaside, I can only hope i'm as fit and active as the older people we know, my friends mother is 68 and goes walking for hours she looks amazing for her age, I hope to be that way too, best start looking after myself now!

I think about my death lots already maybe its a midlife crisis come on early lol or perhaps just part of my anxieties, but I should try to think about living lots more Smile
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Re: Question time.

Post by Evie on Mon May 01, 2017 5:51 am

What are you guys even talking about, you're all young! I love you

...I know what you mean though. I think about my own ageing too, sometimes I'm so tired I feel like I'm 100 years old, and yet at the same time I feel like I'm still a kid and all these very adult responsibilities people expect of me are somehow misplaced.

Age can definitely be very much something that's in the mind, I think. There are old Taoist stories about great masters who lived for hundreds of years or stayed young in mind and body all their lives. Not that I believe the hundreds of years story Wink but you know what I mean.

I used to really look forward to my old age, assuming that I will be the same just physically an old lady and mentally wiser - because I figured that then, finally, I'll really have a lot of time on my hands, so I can dedicate myself to all the creative projects I seem to never have time for. But the more I experience of the old age around me and the more stories I hear, it terrifies and saddens me. Maybe I will be lucky and be like one of these famous old academic ladies who are still working at 70 or 80 (though you know 70 isn't really that old at all). But I'm not sure. Not everyone is lucky.

Nighty you know that historically (and in the present in cultures such as Bhutan), thinking about death has sometimes caused people to live a lot more fully -- because the constant remembrance of death and the brevity of life allows you to really 'seize the day', and if we really remember that everything is impermanent, a lot of our day-to-day problems seem so much smaller. Smile I understand that it can also cause anxieties, though. Still, death and life are so interconnected that you are on the right path if you are thinking about death.

I was going to say something else but a) I forgot what it was and b) I really really have to run I love you I love you I love you

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Mon May 01, 2017 12:02 pm

I think even though i'm still considerably young(ish) I think of it in terms now is the time to start looking after myself moreso, back in my twenties and even early thirties I really wasn't interested as I think we feel more invincible then, but now it's like eek i'm 4 years off 40 it's time to take better care of my body and mind if it's going to see me into old age lol

When I generally think about death I guess it's probably more a fear of the Unknown, we all know it's coming but we don't know what it's like or if there's anything afterwards so I find that bit scary.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Sun May 07, 2017 12:21 pm

Ok so new question :

What is your idea of being content and how often do you feel this way in your life?
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Mon May 08, 2017 12:34 am

I have somewhat of a fear of feeling fully content because a day before my mom died I was really thinking about how great everything was and how content I was with everything in my life. It's as if the universe went "Ah, too easy huh? Well here's some major for you, mwhahaha". My mom was also really happy before she died, which doesn't help with the negative belief that life is suffering and if you feel like you are content at any point then something will happen to throw you back into suffering again.

Saying that, I do feel like I'm pretty content with my life now, with the relationship I have, where I live, what I do with my days, with my body... of course there are areas that I would like to improve or change, but over all I feel like life is good What a Face
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Wed May 10, 2017 7:10 am

Aw Luney it must be hard when you've gone through something like that and it's given you that type of mindset. I can relate a little bit in the fact that when things are going right I automatically start looking for the problem as if things are 'Too good to be true'.

I think contentment is just being in a place where things are just simply ok, you may want other things in your life but there's nothing to complain about, I find for me i have areas in my life where I do feel content, I have a lovely close family, I have an abundance of friends these days online and off which is something I haven't had in years, and i'm socialising so much more than I ever thought I would, so things like that make me content, I also love my volunteer work and being involved in that. so for me there's plenty to feel happy and settled about, but some areas i'm still working on, I think contentment is more of a journey rather than a destination.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Mon May 29, 2017 12:55 pm

Time for a new question?

Do you have any regrets in life?

if anyone else has any random questions they'd like to ask please feel free Smile
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Mon May 29, 2017 11:27 pm

I don't really have many regrets about my own actions, of course there have been situations that I think of with "Oh gosh, I could've handled that better!" or "I wish I was nicer to that person", but I don't really dwell upon any regrets. I can already hear the regrets from tomorrow though --

"I wish I had spent more time with kids and less time in front of the computer"
" I wish I learned to cook healthier food for the whole family"
"I wish I drove around more and explored new places"
"I wish I planned a better career"
"I wish I lived my life with more joy and appreciation"
and of course if any friend of family member should pass away there would be the "I wish I told them I loved them more often, I wish I called more often..."
But even though I'm aware of those future regrets, I still don't do much about them Shruggy smiley

I have regrets over the twists of life though that I think of more often, such as
"What a shame my mom never saw her grandkids, what a shame I can't ask for her advice"...

Adding a question --
What is your biggest pet peeve?
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Tue May 30, 2017 12:30 pm

I also have some regrets or things I wish i'd reacted too differently, I accept I cant change the past or make it better now but it still gets me when I think about it.

I dont regret meeting my awful ex because I have 3 beautiful children, but I do wish i'd left sooner or prevented certain things happening, stuck up for myself and my family more.

I wish i'd spent more time with my mum, it's great in hindsight if I knew then what I know now kind of thing I would have made more effort with her and told her I loved her much more.


I have a few pet peeves, no major ones I dont think but some things I find irritating are, when you're in a cafe queing and people come in after you and one person out of their group goes and sits at the only free table, which means by the time you've been served there's no free tables for you to sit at, ok it's not a major gripe but it winds me up that i've been fair and waited my turn and they haven't.

Also when you're shopping in the supermarket and people are just standing around chatting and getting in your way, they always seem to be standing right in the way of what you want grrr!
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Tue May 30, 2017 5:20 pm

If I were to give advice to my younger self, I wish I hadn't put so many emotions in relationships. Too many tears cried over things that really weren't worth it and too little attention going to other areas of life due to always being preoccupied with love life. I also wish I had terminated some relationships sooner, not because they were that bad, but because they really weren't going anywhere and I feel I wasted a lot of my life on them.

Oh yes those pet peeves are so annoying. The other day I was standing in the queue with the kids for ages and when I was supposed to be next some other lady came from the other side and just went and jumped in front of me and all other people. I'm getting mad just thinking back to it laugh

One of my pet peeves is judgmental people, especially on the internet (and I know that makes me judgmental of them lol). Just people judging other people because they like different things, have different beliefs or lifestyle, but they do it in a superior way such as "Only idiots watch movies like this, or listen to music like that", or body shaming such as "Somebody feed this girl a burger" or for somebody that is into fitness "Eww, she looks like a man".
Very common is that if somebody has an Instagram account (usually some celebrity) and they post selfies then there is always so much screaming that they must have a low self esteem and why post all those pictures on social media. It's just the way these people seem to think they are superior and trash others knowing they are anonymous that annoys me.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Wed May 31, 2017 1:30 pm

Yes social media can be a harsh place to be and full of judgement, it's easy to hide behind a screen and be a critic isn't it, I always try my best to not be judgy but I know I can be at times :/
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Sat Jul 01, 2017 8:47 am

Question time :

What do you like best about yourself?
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:55 am

Hard to say, because as soon as I come up with something I will immediately remember all the times I wasn't like that.
Such as I can say "I like my kindness" and remember of all the times I was snappy or unkind. Or I could say "My determinism to always better myself" and then remember all the stagnant things I'm procrastinating  on that I could've done by now Rolling Eyes

How about you Nighty?
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Sat Jul 08, 2017 8:48 am

aw well Luney dont forget we can't be perfect so it's ok to have lovely positive traits and also moments when they weren't so great, it doesn't make you any less wonderful, it makes you human Smile

The things I like about myself are : I like my ability to empathise and understand others, I think i'm an open person, and I like my persistence and dedication, when I put my mind to something I will do my best to keep going even if things get difficult or stressful I will always give things my best shot.
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Sat Jul 29, 2017 11:45 pm

I just read this quote -
How we do one thing is how we typically do EVERYTHING

What do you think? Agree?
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Re: Question time.

Post by Night Eyes on Sun Jul 30, 2017 10:24 am

Well everything I do tends to be done with a lot of over thinking, so erm yeah lol
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Re: Question time.

Post by Luney on Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:17 am

I was thinking I do everything sloppily Laughing
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Re: Question time.

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Fri Sep 01, 2017 10:40 pm

Haha I'm always on a high pace with everything, might be good to slow things down sometimes huh
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Re: Question time.

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