Log in

I forgot my password

Happy Birthday
Latest topics
» Inspirational Quotes
by President Roosevelt Mon Aug 14, 2017 10:08 pm

» Stay Positive with Sparkle
by Evie Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:16 am

» What do you think about power places?
by Night Eyes Wed Aug 02, 2017 1:34 pm

» 13 Things You Should Give Up If You Want To Be Successful
by Night Eyes Mon Jul 31, 2017 5:44 pm

» Shine's Genie
by kazoo Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:46 pm

» Question time.
by Luney Mon Jul 31, 2017 3:17 am

» What Good Things Happened to You Today?
by Evie Sun Jul 30, 2017 9:03 am

» What do you want to manifest this month?
by kazoo Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:24 pm

» Ever feel like Belle?
by kazoo Sat Jul 29, 2017 2:15 pm

» '5 Secrets to Wu Wei'
by LittlemissSunshine Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:27 pm

» Learning to Trust the Universe
by Night Eyes Thu Jul 27, 2017 7:34 am

» I am grateful for...
by Evie Mon Jul 24, 2017 8:47 pm

» The Daily Thich Nhat Hanh
by Evie Mon Jul 24, 2017 1:36 pm

» The Giggle Thread
by Evie Mon Jul 24, 2017 1:10 pm

» How is Everyone?
by Night Eyes Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:38 pm

» Introduce yourself
by Luney Sat Jul 15, 2017 2:06 am

» Positive Affirmations
by Luney Sat Jul 08, 2017 2:53 am

» Shiny, Pretty, Happy Things
by Night Eyes Tue Jun 27, 2017 8:59 am

» Positivity app
by Night Eyes Mon Jun 26, 2017 8:35 am

» Cleaning home from negative energies
by kazoo Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:06 pm

» Share your Recipes
by Luney Mon May 08, 2017 12:39 am

» Inspiring Videos
by Evie Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:09 am

» Depression
by Night Eyes Sat Apr 22, 2017 9:46 am

August 2017
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

Calendar Calendar

Gallery



If you don't desire something...?

View previous topic View next topic Go down

If you don't desire something...?

Post by roxychick on Fri Dec 16, 2016 6:07 pm

Do you believe if you don't want something you won't get it, even if it is something that may be a good opportunity for you and you should want it? I feel like this is the case for me
Many times I have applied for jobs that were a good opportunity for me, but I did not have any desire for that particular job.
And I never ended up getting any of them even though I tried my best. I feel maybe I sabotaged my chances, because I really had no interest in it in the first place. And it's hard to get excited about a job you don't care for

I just got offered an interview for a job in my company, which I applied for last year and ended up failing the test. I guess that's part of the reason I am hesitant to go for it and I just don't have a good feeling about it for some reason. And there is job in another department I am more interested in, but it probably won't be full time and the contract may end soon even if I get it. So this new job is probably a better opportunity but I just don't have any motivation for it

I would like to know people's thoughts and opinions on this

roxychick
Twinkling
Twinkling

Posts : 30
Points : 119
Thanks : 61
Join date : 2016-07-15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by Evie on Sat Dec 17, 2016 3:49 am

You might like this:

http://www.affinitywellness.com.au/blocks-and-manifesting/

Personally, I think we often get things we didn't think we wanted, and don't get things we do want, but I'm not a fan of The Secret or Abraham etc.  When it comes to intuition, though, I think it tends to be right - having a gut feeling that something is wrong usually means there is something wrong/it's wrong for you, etc. But I always think there is also a difference between intuition and, say, fear, and sometimes it can be hard to tell the two apart.
Recently, I really didn't feel like going on a trip, but it ended up being completely fantastic.... if I had interpreted my unwillingness to go as my intuition/gut feeling and followed it then I wouldn't have had a really wonderful experience. It wasn't even fear of going somewhere new, it was just

I think a good question to ask can be, "What do I have to lose?" A professor I know (from one of the most prestigious universities in the world) has shared with me the advice he has followed all his life: try everything. Give everything your best shot. Apply for any and all opportunities, even the ones you think you won't get. While having a bad feeling about something is not something you should ignore (maybe you wouldn't be happy in the new position), when it comes to things outside your current workplace, obviously you don't even have to take an opportunity if you get a job and still feel it's not right for you. - You can decide later if you really want the job. But the job interview/application process in itself is something you get better and better at. Every time you make the effort, your skills in that area expand. Though of course, sometimes you can just get lucky and get something early on. Smile

I would strongly recommend reading Olivia Fox Cabane's The Charisma Myth... It's available on Kindle, or even as a preview on Google Books (this link). No matter how charismatic you are already, even things like body language can be constantly improved - and can subconsciously communicate how you feel about the job, which may be part of why you didn't get the jobs you didn't really want. Cabane guest lectures at some of the top universities in the US, including Stanford, Yale, Harvard, and MIT, as well as working with the United Nations; she helps students and all kinds of corporate CEOs master charisma, which studies have shown helps with such things as getting a job or being viewed as a good leader. While I have never really implemented her techniques myself, she has a wide range of excellent exercises that help with more than just charisma -- there are tips for dealing with nerves, visualisation training, etc.

Here is a lecture Cabane gave at Stanford some years back:



Some really fascinating psychological insights here.

Otherwise, you might like these links:


http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-mindfulness-can-help-you-discover-what-you-want-to-do-in-life/

http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/entry/practical-ways-to-find-your-zen-at-work_568aa168e4b014efe0dafc4e?section=australia

Good luck with everything. I love you Others may have other, more LOA-y input for you.

_________________
The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
avatar
Evie
Radiant
Radiant

Posts : 1272
Points : 3127
Thanks : 1553
Join date : 2016-05-12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by Luney on Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:25 am

Do you really not care for it, or are you trying to trick yourself into believing that you don't in order to avoid disappointment?
I feel sometimes with anything I want that if I get too excited I'll jinx it somehow and end up not getting it, so I downplay it in my mind, just in case lol.

If you really don't then may it's a chance to sit down and figure out what would you like an amazing career in and apply for more exciting jobs?
avatar
Luney
Radiant
Radiant

Posts : 526
Points : 1476
Thanks : 894
Join date : 2016-04-30
Age : 35
Location : Florida

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by roxychick on Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:16 am

Well I took the test yesterday...two tests for two different jobs. Not only was it difficult, I found it boring compared to my current job. I need something to stimulate me, and also I like something where you can interact with customers and other people too, not just stare at the computer all day. Not sure if the test is a preview of what a typical day in the position would be.

I had so much anxiety while taking the test too. It was very stressful. I am not the kind of person who deals well with stress in jobs. Especially when I am depressed or dealing with other problems in my life. I've had stressful jobs before and in times in my life I was also struggling with depression. Neither ended well, I walked out on one job because I was just too depressed and the other one they told me not to come back. (I secretly didn't want the job, but took it anyways. As soon as I got used to it, they told me they didn't need me.)

And I guess another reason I don't want the job is the location, I feel happier in the office I am now. I've never been so happy, I felt comfortable and at home there. I really dislike going to new places.

But regardless I am praying that whatever happens will be the best outcome for me.

roxychick
Twinkling
Twinkling

Posts : 30
Points : 119
Thanks : 61
Join date : 2016-07-15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by President Roosevelt on Tue Dec 20, 2016 11:47 pm

@roxychick wrote:Do you believe if you don't want something you won't get it, even if it is something that may be a good opportunity for you and you should want it? I feel like this is the case for me

No, plenty of people get things they don't want and plenty of people don't get what they do want. Sometimes it might even be a blessing in disguise. But the "should" raises some red flags. There were times when I thought I should want this, but I didn't. I think in our society, we're good at convincing ourselves to want things we don't truly want because it fits the pattern and provides a false sense of security or we've been discouraged into believing we won't find anything better and the "should" is our guilt-trip into taking it. Then again, I do believe in gut feelings. Sometimes when something just screams in your stomach "No!" we need to listen, even if it upsets others, even if it means risking a sure thing. It's kind of funny, those gut feelings of "No!" always felt like calm  assurances from within myself, like a feeling close to freedom, an inner knowing that I need to walk away. But the biggest thing stopping me from walking away was my "shoulds", binding me to the pressures and expectations I have of myself, most of which are inspired in some shape or form by society too. On the other hand, there are times when a situation is exactly perfect for us, we're just not in the right state of mind to see, our beliefs are in conflict with our potential. So sometimes understanding what we really want can get blurry. When that happens, I think it helps to just take some time and really get in touch with what's going on with ourselves beneath the surface.

@roxychick wrote:
Many times I have applied for jobs that were a good opportunity for me, but I did not have any desire for that particular job. And I never ended up getting any of them even though I tried my best. I feel maybe I sabotaged my chances, because I really had no interest in it in the first place. And it's hard to get excited about a job you don't care for.

I just got offered an interview for a job in my company, which I applied for last year and ended up failing the test. I guess that's part of the reason I am hesitant to go for it and I just don't have a good feeling about it for some reason. And there is job in another department I am more interested in, but it probably won't be full time and the contract may end soon even if I get it. So this new job is probably a better opportunity but I just don't have any motivation for it

I would like to know people's thoughts and opinions on this

Maybe the lack of motivation isn't entirely about the job itself but something else going on in your life too? For example, when I get depressed I just lose motivation for any activities I once loved, the feeling of powerlessness just pours over from one area of my life into the others and nothing seems to work except self-acceptance. And like Lunar said, sometimes we trick ourselves into believing we don't want something to  avoid disappointment. Maybe that's why when deep-seated feelings of powerlessness are so pervasive, it makes it harder to get in touch with what we really desire? I get the feeling from your post that disappointment and discouragement are in you. Maybe that's why you feel more hesitant about going for what you want?

On the New Age side of things, I've been researching chakras and how they relate to disease and other stuff in life on another forum. I think they might say that you have root chakra and solar plexus issues. Basically, for the root chakra it's about finding a sense of trust in issues related to career, home, and mother. For solar plexus, it's about issues of freedom, control, and personal power - finding the will and self-esteem to pursue your goals. On the LoA side, I met a LoA coach who claims to be a millionaire on reddit. He says that 80% of LoA work is dealing with emotional baggage related to our goals. So I think that's the common theme. Can you find a way to accept your emotions and be at peace with whatever you're feeling inside, be it discouragement, disappointment, anxiety, depression, or fear of failure? I deal with these myself a lot so I know it's not easy. These are some sources that might help:

https://www.reddit.com/r/lawofattraction/comments/4z0p83/the_only_way_to_easy_manifestation_loving_yourself/

http://cocreationcoaching.org/saying-yes-life-walking-path-radical-acceptance/
avatar
President Roosevelt
Top Dog
Top Dog

Posts : 140
Points : 490
Thanks : 330
Join date : 2016-05-16
Age : 24
Location : Chicago

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by Night Eyes on Wed Dec 21, 2016 12:56 pm

I'm always telling myself I don't want something, when deep down I probably do, I think sometimes I do it because i'm scared I wont get it, or I feel I don't deserve it or i'm not good enough.

Other times though, I simply just dont want it, even if it would be really beneficial to me, usually because i'm more fixated on something else or I just dont see the potential, but then I do believe whats meant to be will be, so if something is for me it'll find its way.
avatar
Night Eyes
Radiant
Radiant

Posts : 958
Points : 2472
Thanks : 1368
Join date : 2016-04-29
Age : 36
Location : Wales

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by roxychick on Fri Dec 23, 2016 1:06 pm

My feeling was right...I didn't end up getting the job. I just didn't feel it was the right job for me. But the good news is, I just got scheduled for more shifts for my other job Very Happy

roxychick
Twinkling
Twinkling

Posts : 30
Points : 119
Thanks : 61
Join date : 2016-07-15

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: If you don't desire something...?

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum