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Dealing with guilt

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Dealing with guilt

Post by Evie on Fri Aug 26, 2016 5:11 am

How do you deal with guilt?

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: Dealing with guilt

Post by Evie on Sat Aug 27, 2016 7:39 am

For a bit more info -- I seem to feel guilt very often, usually over small things like not getting a task done as quickly as I had intended or similar. I wish I knew how to deal with that. At the moment, though, I have a bigger guilt that I really don't know how to -- engage with. I didn't mean to do anything bad but some of my actions have been a cause of pain for people dear to me. I would never want to hurt anyone but I have, through my clumsiness and selfishness. Apologies are impossible and rectifying the situation is too, it's just a soft dull ache I have to live with. I wish I could correct what I did, but I can't, it's done and irreversible.

You can even argue that it wasn't my fault, because I was blind to the effects of it, but that doesn't really help. I've read a lot of quotes about forgiving yourself etc. but they're about as useful as putting a pink ribbon over a wound.

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Re: Dealing with guilt

Post by Night Eyes on Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:40 am

Aw Evie it's so difficult to reconcile guilty feelings especially when it involves people we care about!

Feeling guilty is the most useless emotion ever, but the hardest to get rid of i find, we have consciences at the end of the day and we've been taught good and bad behaviour our whole lives, so we automatically feel bad if we go against the good behaviour or act in a way that causes distress to someone else.

Just try to remember whats done is done, chastising yourself and feeling bad continuously wont change anything, if you cant forgive yourself for something then just try to remember you've accepted responsibility for your actions so it's not like you're deliberately trying to hurt anyone.
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Re: Dealing with guilt

Post by Luney on Sat Aug 27, 2016 12:04 pm

We had a topic like that at Le Cafe once and I think Nighty posted some helpful articles if I remember right.

I agree that it's a useless feeling, but I'm guilty of feeling guilty all the time myself, so who am I to preach No
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Re: Dealing with guilt

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Sat Aug 27, 2016 4:31 pm

I am not really your role model either. I have really strict parents and I have spend most of my life feeling guilty until I discovered LOA. I think I have managed to turn most of it around by indeed acknowledging that feeling guilty is a useless emotion, but it's indeed such a difficult thing to deal with.
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Re: Dealing with guilt

Post by Evie on Tue Aug 30, 2016 10:34 am

Thanks, friends. I love you It is getting a bit better.  I think it was partly the shock at the time that made everything so disorienting. I'm also thinking that perhaps it isn't as irreversible as I thought, after all........ though I can do nothing to fix it myself. All I can do is to send good thoughts to the situation and hope it heals okay. Sad

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