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How to Stop Blushing

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How to Stop Blushing

Post by Night Eyes on Wed Aug 24, 2016 1:40 pm

Ok I put this in the Psyche thread because after much thought i genuinely believe this is a psychological Issue not a health issue.

I am so close to the point of dragging myself to the doctors and begging in earnest for them to please help me.

I've always been a blusher since my teens but it seemed to stop during my twenties ( I think) however after giving up smoking a few years back, i can only assume the nice health benefits you recieve when you stop the dirty habit have brought back my blushing with a vengeance.

I literally cant have a conversation with anyone except the people closest to me without going this really unsavoury shade of scarlet, and i'm not just talking cheeks i'm talking from head to chest.. blood red. It's at the point now if the checkout person in Tescos even speaks to me it happens and because I know it's happening its even worse.

I'm completely fed up with it now, it's affecting me wanting to go out and socialise, i'm worried it will effect my career when i have to deal with people face to face.. it's no longer just there when i'm shy or embarrassed it's .. just there..... and it doesnt fade quickly either, i stay blotchy for anywhere between 30 mins to an hour later Evil or Very Mad

so I read this, which was surprising some of the tips sound very Loa'ish too.....

http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/how-to-stop-blushing-tips/

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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Evie on Wed Aug 24, 2016 3:40 pm

Ohh Nighty. I can imagine how embarrassed you must feel about it, but really is it such a bad thing? I can't help thinking that if you stopped judging the blushing so harshly - stopped resisting it - it might go away on its own...

*skims article* ohhhhhh wow those tips are amazing! Are you going to try them?

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Night Eyes on Wed Aug 24, 2016 3:51 pm

I think the problem is I cant ignore it, for some reason people take great pleasure in telling me how 'they've never seen such a shade of red' and what not so maybe something I may have not been taking much notice of has been drawn to my attention and been a source of mockery, so now even around people who are nice enough not to make fun of it or point it out, i'm now very aware of it and it just seems to make it worse.

Yesterday was kind of nice and traumatic at the same time, I saw a dentist that specialises in nervous patients and I did point it out (one of the tips) only because I realised when I blush I make a lot of hand movements to try and cover it up and I could see I was distracting him, so I just said sorry I go red when i'm nervous and he was fine with it, I think at that moment I did stop worrying but I was still blotchy half and hour later.
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Evie on Wed Aug 24, 2016 4:47 pm

Those people who say such things are jerks!! Evil or Very Mad Sad I have a friend who used to (probably still does) go very red in the ears and she was miserable and self-conscious about it too. I always told her there was absolutely nothing wrong with it and that it was actually quite cute, but she hated it. Sad

I go really red talking about certain sensitive subjects or when there are dirty jokes around... usually not otherwise. Back in the day I used to go red in a strange part of the lower cheek, these two little red spots, when I was really nervous/anxious (generally before every performance), but it doesn't happen any more. Well - it happened once recently and I was really surprised, because I'd totally forgotten this was ever a thing that happened to me. Wink
So I guess these things can change, pass with time. Smile I never cared that much about my spots, though they did irritate me, especially if I was going to be around cute boys (which back then was always).

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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Wed Aug 24, 2016 6:00 pm

Awe nighty I can imagine that it bothers you. I don't really know how it feels because I am unable to blush. I think it's because of my yellowish skin tone. I only get red-ish when I have finished a half marathon, but what I like to add to the article is that the more you focus on something the worse it gets. You thoughts build momentum around it and a certain expectation. You know when you already fear that it's going to happen and then it happens. The only way to stop that momentum is to take your attention completely away from this. Don't focus on a solution, don't focus on the issue, don't pay attention to it at all. You know that it's there, but you just let it. It sounds a bit odd maybe, but that's what I did to solve my sleep issue and you know I had many thoughts going around about that. So many fear and insecurity. This really helped me. I hope it will help you too nighty.
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Night Eyes on Wed Aug 24, 2016 10:34 pm

Yes I dont know if it was this article or a different one that said trying to force yourself to blush will actually have the opposite effect so from now on when I know its going to happen i'm going to mentally tell myself to go as red as possible the redder the better lol

what have i got to lose huh?

I've got to the point where i've considered at 35 years old to start wearing concealer and powder to try and tone it down.
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Luney on Thu Aug 25, 2016 12:20 am

Awww Nighty that must be terrible for you  No  It's something that it's so easy to say it's cute and nobody thinks anything bad of it, but even though it's true, nobody would like to have the same condition. I think a lot of UK/Irish people are genetically more inclined to blushing. My English ex was soooo obsessed about his skin looking red, that he went red when others were around just because he kept thinking others must be looking at his skin, even if they were not.

People do tend to be really insensitive about things like that, because it doesn't even occur to them how upsetting it may be to you. We had this guy that worked with us that was really short and all the other guys were always patting on his head (he was balding even though he was only 23) and calling him little Stevie all the time. He didn't look too happy about it, but he never complained either. It never occured to me until reading Drewdude and some others honestly write about it, that he may have been genuinly upset and hurt all this time. Luckily he has never had any problems with lovelife and has a baby due any day now, so I know Drewdude was more miserable.

I don't blush much or at least haven't blushed since high school, but maybe because I was wearing concealer and foundation a lot in my early 20s and knew others wouldn't see it even if I did and later I just didn't care what others thought. Although my blushing is not that red anyway, I'm yellow toned too like LMS for some reason.

I think that article's pretty good though, especially #3 has a lot of potential, I know if you do any chakra meditation and concentrate your mind on any of those points, it gets warm and starts buzzing, like all the blood flows that way because you are thinking of that body part. So yes, give that one a go methinks nodding
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

Post by Night Eyes on Thu Aug 25, 2016 8:09 am

Yes anything has to be worth a try

It is so easy for people to say oh dont worry its cute, it's endearing, i even had a nurse say it to me, but even whilst i agree where they're coming from, it doesnt feel cute or endearing to me, it feels hot, sweaty and humiliating lol

If it was a slight shade of pink like normal people I probably wouldnt mind but I go crimson.

I did spend last night in the mirror trying to force myself to go red and what i read is right, it just doesnt happen.

Thanks for the support everyone x
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Re: How to Stop Blushing

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