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What are the things you fear the most?

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What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Evie on Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:49 pm

Bravery, we are told, is not having no fear - rather, it is facing fear in any of its different forms.

I think, very often, fear is a result of clinging - to ourselves, to the things we are used to. To our possessions, to our attachments, or to the way things "should" be (as opposted to the way things are).

Often, if not always, fear is egoic. We are frightened for ourselves. If we fear death, usually it is because we don't want to lose - ourselves. Or our worlds. If we fear failure, we don't want ourselves to lose out, we don't want to view ourselves as less than successful. If we fear rejection, we don't want people to turn us down. So often, it is so purely about me - if it isn't about me then it is usually about me and mine. Adyashanti would say there is nothing wrong with this - in fact, it is only natural, it is the way things are. But as people awaken, apparently they also begin to lose the ego drive... and the ego fears. And suddenly, there's nothing left to cling on to. Suddenly, there is an immense sense of disorientation, because you no longer exist, you are no longer there.

There is nothing to be afraid of, because nothing is real. Certainly when we think of ordinary, petty fears - public speaking, rejection, death --- the world in which those things happen is just a mental construct. If you look at it properly, you begin to see that it falls apart under close scrutiny. The things that seemed to matter really don't. We seem to be here, but really, all is an illusion. There is nothing to be afraid of - we don't exist.

But isn't that scary? We don't exist ---- certainly not in the way we believe we do. We are figments of our own imagination. Something, it would seem, appears to exist. But nothing exists in the way we believe it does.

I think when you get over the fear of non-existence, perhaps all the other fears fade away. I don't know. I haven't been there yet. I've been at the precipice. I've seen the view. I've faced one of my worst fears and lost one of the things I thought defined my life, and I survived. Everything is different now. Everything changed. I no longer cling to things so much, even as I throw myself into life all the more passionately.

It is strange, but fear no longer seems so dreadful. Things change. Things pass. People change. People walk away. And the sun keeps rising. That illusory sun keeps rising, and all is well. All is always well.

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Night Eyes on Sat Jul 16, 2016 10:55 am

Nothing stays the same
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Evie on Fri Sep 23, 2016 2:07 pm

Some of the things I fear the most --

- Losing loved ones



and way way after that, though some of these are more every-day-of-my-life kind of fears

- rejection by people I really care about
- not being loved
- mistakes, imperfection, failure
- the opinions of others
- childbirth, inability to have children
- pain

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by lilac on Tue Oct 04, 2016 9:57 pm

@Evie wrote:Some of the things I fear the most --

- Losing loved ones



and way way after that, though some of these are more every-day-of-my-life kind of fears

- rejection by people I really care about
- not being loved
- mistakes, imperfection, failure
- the opinions of others
- childbirth, inability to have children
- pain

So weird -- I was literally just talking about being freaked out by childbirth! It has always kinda scared me. Even when I was younger the thought just always panicked me.. it's not even just the thought of pain, the whole pregnancy scenario has always freaked me out. Of course I think it's a wonderful thing but I honestly don't know if I could do it! Adoption has always appealed to me, though.

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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Luney on Sun Nov 27, 2016 5:26 am

Lilac and Evie you will both be fine, I promise. Before I had kids I was scared of being pregnant, scared of birth, scared of handling a baby, scared I will do something wrong or turn out to be a horrible mom, I hadn't even held a baby or babysat anyone, I didn't even know how to change a diaper.
I promise every step of the way will come naturally for you and you will be great moms too of course. These days you can choose epidural and pretty much painless birth, but even if you want to go all natural, you will be fine.
I think I was more scared of miscarriage or stillbirth than the pain part of it.

I'm more scared of something bad happening to my loved ones than for anything that would affect my own health or death. Kids first and foremost and my family back a home second, in case something happens that they need me and I can't be there pale

Nothing makes me think of mortality and shortness of life more than looking at my grandparents baby photos. Like they were just kids not that long ago and already they are dead and gone, my mom gone, it won't be long before my own kids are old and gone and  I'll be just a fading memory in someone's mind...

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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Night Eyes on Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:29 pm

I'm scared people hate me... It's stupid because I know i shouldnt care what other people think, but I always worry people dont really like me.
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Luney on Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:18 pm

I don't really worry about other people hating me, because I've found that unless you are a horrible person (and you definitely are not!! lol), then the people that hate you are just generally hateful bitter people. They mingle with other sourpusses like themselves and just gossip nasty things about everyone and everything. I don't need friends like that anyway, so they can unhappily hate away on me all they want Very Happy
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Mon Nov 28, 2016 1:58 pm

Gosh I always often think that people hate me or think I am stupid and I am really bothered by it. While I know in my mind it's their problem not mine. Still I care how people think about me. I always like to have good memories with other people. Luckily the older I get the less I care, so there is hope haha by the time my face is covered in wrinkles I don't care about anything anymore lol
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Night Eyes on Mon Nov 28, 2016 2:11 pm

Lol so true Luney, I know its silly to worry like that as it should be a case of me liking me... and well I like myself most of the time... but I've always been a people pleaser I guess, I find it hard to remember that no matter how hard you try or what you do someone somewhere will always have something to say about it, myself included :s

And yes lms there will come a day when we really wont care at all hehe
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Re: What are the things you fear the most?

Post by Evie on Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:46 am

I'm also definitely always worried about what others will think, to a degree that isn't healthy. Which means social anxiety 2.0 sometimes Wink It's something I want to work on...
I think it's fairly natural to care what other people think - we're social animals after all - but it's better within limits, or sometimes best to not care at all.



Especially in this age of social media, we are becoming programmed to care how much people "like" us and our stuff. But the thing is we're not our stuff, or even our self-concept; what we really are is so much deeper than the ego-self and the ever-changing daily chatter inside our heads.
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