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Law of Attraction and Suffering

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Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by President Roosevelt on Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:10 pm

Cherished wrote an inspirational post today saying that we create our own reality and can absolutely have the relationship we want. Her metaphor is to just change the CD when we don't like the music being played, if we don't like our life just change our thoughts/vibration to the life we prefer. She asked why so many people are so sad and desperate if we create our own reality. The irony is that as inspirational as her post is, it's pretty much the same stuff LoA authors have been saying since the dawn of the New Age genre and yet so many people still suffer despite practicing the LoA teachings. Why is that? I have many thoughts to her question and I wanted to share it here:

Sometimes I think we don't allow the essence of LoA teachings to change us from the inside. Instead, we perceive LoA from the inside, through our pain and suffering, and use it in a way that perpetuates our pain instead of freeing us. For example:

1. Waiting on someone or something to justify our happiness and give us meaning instead of being happy or living meaningfully now.

2. Basing the value of our adventures not on what we gain inside of us, but on our techniques or what we get outside of us. In a sense, we haven't changed - we've taken spirituality and New Age ideas and made them materialistic. The problem is that our pain, still lodged within us by our ego-identities, is still there and getting material things can't heal the root of the pain. I think a large appeal of LoA is that it promises we can have whatever we want super easy, and we flock to it because of who we are - we identify ourselves based on what we have externally. There are two problems with this:

A) Focusing externally, like basing our happiness on getting that ex or all that money, can be a big belief gap because we feel we don't have that much control, no matter how we might think we do. The constant resisting against what we really feel instead of accepting it - fighting for control of our (external) reality instead of finding relief and peace with it - keeps us in a state of resistance.

B) When we focus externally to find value exclusively, we don't delve within internally to find value. Is it no wonder that when we base our happiness on a job, getting money, or having the ex back - constant self-worth and self-esteem issues follow suit? "As within, so without." We lose the internal locus of control. Instead of letting the within manifest without, we pursue techniques so that the without changes the within. In other words, we depend on techniques to get our stuff, hoping that getting our stuff will make us happy within, but when it doesn't happen or we notice it hasn't happened - we still hurt. As a result of this, we've forgotten the internal locus of control - that we can be happy without controlling the external world.

3. Techniques feel like a chore and we do them to get what we want instead of doing them for the feeling of having what we want. We do them hoping it will impact the outer world to get our desires but it becomes like work. It's not about techniques, we get what we are. Instead of allowing what we do to have value intrinsically like changing from within, finding better beliefs, and healing pain - we judge it externally like the complete focus on getting an ex back. In other words, we do it not from a place of self-love but from a place of "I need this to be happy, I need this to love myself....(even if it drains me)...."

4. Running from the mirror. Every painful and unwanted moment can be a mirror for ourselves to understand who we are, what we believe, what we need to work on within or let go. It's not enough to just put on a new CD or focus directly on what we want because there is only here and now and this moment of now can mirror to us who we are inside and why we attract what we do. If we run from the pain and use positive thoughts to escape it like a drug, the pain will only get much bigger until we're willing to accept it, face it, and feel it. A lot of people in the world still struggle to face, accept, and express their emotions in healthy ways. To fit in, we shut them up, hide them, restrict them. With LoA it's like we've interpreted this stuff according to our own biases - we don't have to look inward because it's too painful and yet that's where healing is needed. So just like everything else, it becomes avoidance of how we really feel. The problem is that beneath the mask our real feelings and beliefs are still there and attract what we are. And here's the best part - our ego finds identity in pain and with pain in control - we keep ourselves in the endless loop - pursuing this and that, waiting for fulfillment. In a way, our attraction to these teachings may even come from our own pain. Holding on to pain makes it harder to let go of what no longer serves us, be it a "mask" in our identity or an ex or a wish we once wanted...The pain itself, powering up the ego, may even be fueling our pursuit of all these things...And if we accepted the sadness and let it heal, the irony is that perhaps our desires would change and we wouldn't be stuck in the endless loop...Making life better can be as simple as changing the way we think, but we can't find peace or lasting happiness if we let our thoughts become drugs to block out the pain we feel, our own willingness to feel first and be conscious of ourselves - no matter how dark the tunnel is - can begin personal transformation by opening up inner truth.

5. Blocking out your inner voice. I've seen this several times and experienced all of this myself. Sometimes we rely on false hope to give us temporary comfort because accepting pain, letting it in and feeling it, is scary. So when LoA mentors tell us that we can have anything we want if we do this and that, we rely on this teaching for hope but that hope keeps us in pain. Instead of healing ourselves and accepting the pain inside, we stuff it up and follow the teachings. But the hope we're given keeps us focused externally - focusing on getting an ex back, focus on getting that text message, focus on getting the money....but we lose the internal focus and with it the internal locus of control. We're taught things like "All you need is faith" and so we try to build faith in the external things but deep within us the pain is still there and the external focus cannot release it - if feeds it. What we resist persists. And a big problem is that LoA teachings make it seem like a mortal sin to feel sad, but we can't release our own stuck emotions until we feel them and accept them. And along the way, we lose our power - we let the mentors decide what is right for us instead of listening to our own inner voice.

Mostly for these reasons, this is why I think people stay in suffering and they shoot themselves in the foot with LoA (or rely on the teachings like a drug.) Our pain keeps us in the endless loop, using LoA to keep us there. Instead of healing our own pain from within, it's so much harder to actualize the love and security we seek in the outer world. The problem as I see it is that a lot of LoA teachings make it seem like accepting pain and feeling it is bad or unnecessary and that we should focus directly on the life we prefer externally...but isn't that the perfect recipe to prolong the pain and suffering? Isn't it much easier to create a more fulfilling life when we've healed the pain inside instead and really listen within instead of avoiding it or masking it or letting it keep us in cycles of attachment?
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Re: Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by LittlemissSunshine on Wed Jul 13, 2016 8:22 pm

These are wise words PR. Do you know I have been struggling with this. It's always been said: feel good. Be in a good vibration. Be the best you can be. But who defines who I am when I am feeling good. I had some unfortunate events lately and I am blaming it on not always feeling good. I'm also in fear often when I don't feel good. Afraid that I attract unwanted things in my life, like just happened. But that's not how it's supposed to be. I am in a good mood most of the time and I always try to be the best of what I am. Emotions are there to indicate where we are and where we need to go. Nothing wrong with them. I think the key is to let yourself going with the flow trusting you are always floating towards the good things. The key is to be relaxed. To be an observer. Not to give too much meaning to things. Our reality is our experience. Its not real and it is sure not unchangeable. So I have decided not to force Myself into Good feelings when I dont feel them anymore. Since that decision I get into good vibes way faster!
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Re: Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by Evie on Thu Jul 14, 2016 5:42 pm

Great post, PR. You know I'm not into all the LOA stuff like everyone else, but you've included so many valuable lessons here... thanks. Very Happy

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by roxychick on Fri Jul 15, 2016 1:07 pm

I agree with this. The mentality is everywhere, not just in LOA. To cover up your emotions, and just be strong. I've been dealing with this a lot lately, especially with my depression. Some people don't really understand it and just say to be happy and I have nothing to be sad for, or to set goals for myself to not think about what is bothering me. It is hard to set any goals if I don't feel good, and just being happy on cue is not that easy. The other day someone sent me an inspirational video, I guess they were trying to help, but it actually made me feel worse. The video was so cliche - full of movie scenes with sayings like"Life will knock you down, but keep getting up. Quitters never win, go chase your dreams etc." It just made me feel like there was nothing to live for, like you have to just deal with life even if its hard. And at the same time to just chase your dreams, well you can't really if you're not in the right state of mind.

I've learned lately that life is supposed to be good...
Nobody can be happy all the time, but life should be amazing. I know I have felt such happiness I could never imagine, even if it was only brief moments.

Yes you will go through hard times but it's only so you can get to a better place. And it's okay to be sad, people need to suffer to get to the good times. I always feel like when I hit my lowest point, then things end up turning around. So it's okay to cry and to feel sad, just let yourself feel the pain. Don't cover up your emotions and pretend you are okay, I have tried it only to make myself feel worse.

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Re: Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by Evie on Thu Aug 11, 2016 6:56 am

@President Roosevelt wrote:
1. Waiting on someone or something to justify our happiness and give us meaning instead of being happy or living meaningfully now.

2. Basing the value of our adventures not on what we gain inside of us, but on our techniques or what we get outside of us.

A) Focusing externally, like basing our happiness on getting that ex or all that money, can be a big belief gap because we feel we don't have that much control, no matter how we might think we do. The constant resisting against what we really feel instead of accepting it - fighting for control of our (external) reality instead of finding relief and peace with it - keeps us in a state of resistance.

I really needed to re-read this today.

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Re: Law of Attraction and Suffering

Post by Night Eyes on Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:29 am

Yes i agree there's too much pressure in Loa circles to be unrealistically happy

I think in general people are made to feel like having any sort of negative thought is bad and shameful and should be hidden or covered up when all this ever does it perpetuate it, and make it worse.

I've been trying to go with my emotions a lot more lately and sometimes I think it comes down to this.... Be honest with yourself... I've denied bad feelings for so long I think I've even denied to myself that they're there, I've ended up conditioned into thinking its something to feel ashamed of, but now I am being more honest and going ok, well right now, I'm stressed, or right now I'm angry, worried whichever it is.. it seems to pass a lot quicker, and believe me its not easy, someone called me Grumpy yesterday and it really stung.. but if right now thats how i'm percieved then so be it, I had some emotions needed moving lol
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