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The Shiny new...

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The Shiny new...

Post by Luney on Tue Jul 05, 2016 5:35 pm

I feel that people are creatures that get bored with what they have quickly and start longing for the shiny new stuff fast, then when they get it, excitement is short lived and newer shinier updated version starts catching their attention.
I actually feel it's the same with LOA. Any process seems to work best when you use it the first time. I feel that if i have done the same thing many times, even if I have had good results with something, I can't get the same amount of excitement as I did initially.
So every time I discover a new corner or nuance of a process, a new game, even if the technique is basically the same, I get excited about it.
Am I the only one that feels like that lol?
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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Night Eyes on Wed Jul 06, 2016 3:28 am

I know what you're talking about

I think this ties in with the concept of we're always seeking for something externally, we want to find satisfaction and happiness and these great feelings somewhere 'out there'

so when the novelty wears off with something that great feeling we had is gone, so we automatically want to look for it somewhere else.

I'm a bit hit and miss with things like this, in some areas of my life i'm a sticker if theres something i like or love I will usually stick with it for life, but on the flip side i can be a bit of a fly by night and get bored easily and keep looking for something else thats fun. I guess for me it really depends on what it is.
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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Evie on Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:00 pm

I think we are talking about hedonic adaptation Very Happy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201208/how-keep-happiness-fading

This is actually one of the reasons I started my modesty thread --- I am continuously wanting more even though I already have so much. I have a seemingly ever-expanding shopping wishlist... Embarassed ...even though my wardrobe and cupboards are already full of beautiful things.

Of course it's human nature to begin to take things for granted and get excited about new things. But as the article linked to above puts it -

Human beings spend a lot of time trying to figure out what will make them happy, but not nearly enough time trying to hang on to the happiness they already have. In a way, this is like focusing all your energy on making more money, without giving any thought to what you’ll do with the money you’ve already earned. The key to wealth, like the key to happiness, is to not only look for new opportunities, but to make the most of the ones you’ve been given.

These articles are also worth a read:

https://unclutterer.com/2010/08/09/hedonic-adaptation-why-buying-more-wont-make-you-happy/
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/08/business/08consume.html?_r=0

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The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this beautiful path, I walk in peace. With each step, the wind blows. With each step, a flower blooms.” - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Luney on Thu Dec 29, 2016 3:00 pm

I don't see anything wrong with enjoying this life and all aspects of it, so if you desire more clothes I don't see why we should try to smother that desire and force ourselves to be happy with the same old rags. That's why the song says "I hope you get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger". I know that buying clothes or whatever it is won't give me eternal happiness, but I do enjoy it a lot when I do get some new clothes, so as long as I know it's not my ONLY source of happiness or obsession I wouldn't feel any guilt over it Razz
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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Evie on Thu Dec 29, 2016 6:05 pm



Wink

I think being alive on this earth, of course we all have many desires, including those for material things - and obviously Western society actively promotes such desires (from advertising campagins to those "I want you, I need you, I can't live without you"-type love songs). We live in a consumerist culture. You could think of a million examples of this: the changing of fashions; NEW things that we absolutely must have, such as the latest versions of iPhones or iPads; SALES popping up everywhere convincing us that we need things we didn't even want in the first place ("oh, look, it's half price, what a bargain!"). These days clothes are so often designed in such a way that in time they just get totally worn out, because the artificial fabrics thin with age/washing, get stretched, etc. In a lifetime it is possible to accumulate so, so many things, but we seem to always want more.

As Thich Nhat Hanh puts it:

What we need is transformation of our consciousness, our idea of happiness, our lifestyle. Not only are those of us in the West attached to a high-consumption lifestyle, in Asian countries people are very much doing the same. We like to buy new and exciting things. We are seeking for happiness, but there is suffering inside of us. There is a big vacuum inside of us. That is why we are looking to fill up that vacuum inside. That is our situation. We don’t feel at peace with ourselves. We have a big vacuum inside and we don’t know how to fill it up with better things, so we look to consumption. We think that if we can buy new and exciting things we can then forget the vacuum inside. That does not seem to have an effect. We are buying more and more, but we do not feel the kind of fulfilment we need. We need love, we need peace, but we don’t know how to recreate peace, so we are looking for other things to cover up the suffering and the vacuum inside of us.

Of course it is often actually necessary to buy new things (viz. the clothes quickly getting worn out example), and it's nice to have a variety of sartorial choices or skincare choices or makeup choices Razz etc. But you know I have about five different blushers now. I doubt anyone is going to notice the difference between one or the other when I'm wearing them. And yet I still want to try new things. I used to really love my Chanel cream blush. And I still do, but you know, I want Benefit's Dandelion liquid blush. Wink I take my poor old Chanel totally for granted now.



I do love shopping and I totally understand what my friends meant back in the day when they spoke of "retail therapy." But there is moderation and there are extremes. I do feel guilty after a while when I know very well that I really don't need to buy these particular new things because I have similar things at home that are in pristine condition. Obviously I do limit myself, in fact I have to limit myself even more than usual because I don't currently have an income so I feel bad spending money on things I don't need when I know I will need the money later. Buying nice things for other people - I don't have any guilt over that, but it is much more difficult because you don't tend to know what other people would really want (and in my case, the other people in question usually don't want almost anything What a Face ). All that said, of course shopping is fun and new things are nice, I wouldn't dream of denying it. Wink But the whole point of the hedonic treadmill idea is that it the increase in happiness levels doesn't last - once you achieve one success/desire or buy a particular thing, you quickly adjust to it, and are hungry for more new successes and things so you can relive that happiness spike again, and again, and again.

That song lyric amuses me, Luney (and as you can guess I've never heard it before). In Czech we have a rather different saying: "Breakfast alone, share lunch with a friend, and give your dinner to an enemy." Razz

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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Night Eyes on Fri Dec 30, 2016 4:56 am

This time of year is especially worse for it with all the sales, i'm already starting to get sucked in watching the adverts.

I think as long as we keep a balance its harmless to have the odd indulgence Smile
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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Luney on Fri Dec 30, 2016 9:41 am

I don't think I've ever had some massive sorrow if I didn't get something I desire. I mean, I can feel sorrow when I think I can't call my mom or fly home right now, but in general I think perhaps I have just reached that point of no desire already Scratchhead
I really enjoy shopping and getting new stuff, but I don't really spend any time desiring it hmmm Obviously there's a lot of things I would like to have, if I had to sit down and think a la "What would you do if you won the lottery?" but most of the time I never think of that stuff.

If you have never heard the lyrics before Evie, then you obviously didn't listen to the song I have linked to you before Very Happy
Here are the full lyrics, I think it's probably one of the nicest lyrics ever written and although there are many singers, here's Ronan for some eye candy Wink -

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

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Re: The Shiny new...

Post by Night Eyes on Tue Jan 03, 2017 2:11 am

I wouldnt say I feel sad if I don't get the material things I want, but I do sometimes feel disappointed, and sometimes I do have to have a word with myself because i've fooled myself into believing I need something when I really dont. I think sometimes aswell I want things because I see other people with them, like things for the home or just silly unimportant things, sometimes it's like a pressure to keep up because everyone else has this or does this.

It's a big deal on social media these days to show off your social life etc, and I think for someone like me who is at home with 3 kids and can't get out much it can be hard, when everyone's showing off with photos of being in a fancy bar or off on some flashy holiday or trip. I have to check myself sometimes and remind myself of what I do have. It's fine to have wants or desires but I dont think we should let them control our emotions too much.
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